So Friday I went to this audition for a Spanish television show and it’s like a pageant competition reality TV show, well anyway I realized that I am not connected to my heritage. Yeah I am first generation American and my parents have been americanized but I have never felt so disconnected from the world like I felt that day.
The girls were all wearing tight dresses and heels and I was on the same boat but it was the only similarity I had with these women. They were all so extra and camera hungry with loads of make up and really bad hair colors. I felt like I wasn’t Hispanic enough to fit in. Here is where I faced the problem of who am I really? And is this really fit for me?
Feeling like I didn’t belong made me a little happy that I wasn’t like them bc I don’t want to be the type of woman that just worries about image bc I am not that. At the same time I was sad that I didn’t belong what if I lose my heritage in the long run is that a bad thing? If it’s so bad then how so? Why so? I haven’t told my mom bc Idk how she will react to me saying hey mom I don’t feel latina enough to be a latina. I know my dad would be livid and drill In my head where I come from although I know where I come from I just don’t feel like I am from there.
I have to decide if I want to keep going and work hard to make it in and enter the Latina women world. I feel like I am stuck between being who I have always been and changing to fit my people. Do I really want to fit in though? I have always been treated badly for being white washed and not being the stereotypical housewife type of latina. How do I even decide what I want?
So apparently the Kardashian clan were texting during the VMA Ferguson/Michael Brown tribute. It appeared that Kim, Kylie, and Kendall Kardashian talked amongst themselves, texted, and looked generally bored while presenter Common asked the audience to take a moment of silence for Mike Brown.
You would think a woman that is married to Kanye West, a black man who is immensely vocal about racism and police brutality, would at least respect the life of a black boy who was murdered by the police.